Gay male fashion advice
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Let me clarify this, because a lot of you seem to be misunderstanding what I have to say. I am not saying that "Being fashionable makes you gay". Nor am I saying that "being gay makes you fashionable". I don't think OP was saying that either. As Charming_man put it, "Gays have a culture around them..." I don't know about the rest of you, but when I came out, I started acting, dressing, and carrying myself differently. Out me was a very different person from closeted me. None of this is bad, and we certainly shouldn't ignore or deny that we are different. Aren't you glad we have our own quirks?
I hope this doesn't ruffle any feathers. I am a straight male, and I strive to dress well just like the next guy. However, I've noticed how damn well gay men seem to dress. Like exponentially better than I could ever dress. Gay men dress in a way that would make women melt, so why can't us straight men get this figured out? Gay men make fashion look so easy. It's like an art form like drawing or pottery. I can draw a duck or make a bowl like the next guy could, but gay guys are forming masterpieces like it's nothing.
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Edit 2: Things have turned around. It seems those that were quick to vilify me as an ignorant bigot have been pushed by the community to the bottom of the thread, and the interesting discussion has risen to the top. There seems to be a good mix of gay and straight men here who consider themselves to dress well, and also a mix of both orientations that feel they could use improvement. Thank you all for your open minds.
The kicker though is a gay man that has come out (generally) has to have a certain floor of confidence in himself to even have come out of the closet (I know, because I watched it take my best friend until he was 20). So if he's mustered up that courage, and the courage and detail to dress himself well, he's going carry himself well better than any sheepish or self-doubting heterosexual man would.
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So I go to college in one of the gayest states in the US, where I encounter a gay community for the first time. Suddenly, I'm introduced to gay culture -- books, movies, shows, fashion -- and I finally feel like I've found my niche. Suddenly, it was okay to like watching "The L Word." Suddenly, nobody would judge me if I cut my hair short and ditched the femmey girl get-up? My clothes and interests may have changed, but who's to say it's not because these are the things that I have genuinely enjoyed for the first time in my life?
Edit: Well it seems no one wants to have a real discussion here, rather there is a large disregard for reddiquette. My posts just get immediately downvoted, despite contributing relevant discourse. I'll just go back to lurking. I apologize for mistaking this crowd for those who can set aside minor controversy for the sake of intelligent conversation.
Getting Started: The Most Basic Advice
I do agree though about the culture. I had two gay room mates in college, one I knew since he was 14 (well before he came out). He did start acting differently. And not in ways where he could just be himself more. When he went from watching regularly E.R. or the Simpsons and dressing like the J Crew catalog, to routinely watching Rupaul's Drag Race and wearing soffee shorts and pastel tank tops... well I wonder if he's being less genuine now (in order to normalize within the gay community) than he was before.
My friend who's known me since I was 10 would definitely say I'm not the same person I used to be. In high school, I wore what all the other girls wore: Abercrombie jeans, form-fitting tops, carrying a purse, etc. But yanno what? I fucking hated it. I much preferred men's clothing, or comfortable sportswear. Until high school, I was always more of a tomboy. But I was so terrified of being different or being outed in high school that I chose to blend.