Does gay online dating work
Dating Tips For Gay Men
First, Norris mentions “You’ll receive lots of dick pics.” Fact. You will. In fact, most of the gay dating apps (Grindr, Scruff, Growlr) have “locked” or “private picture” sections that a user can unlock for any bloke to whom he is chatting. Usually, they’re dick picks. But that’s not all. In my experience, 70% are dick picks, 20% are pics of a guy holding a camera up so you can see his face and his butt in the background—usually he is lying on his bed—8% are pics of him holding his butt cheeks and pulling them apart while (assumedly) someone else takes a picture of his rosebud (sorry, Orson Welles, but that’s what the gay community calls “that area” of male anatomy), and 2%…well, let’s just say they’re graphic. You will receive lots of dick pics, so weed those guys out of potential dates.
No matter your gender or sexual orientation, dating can seem like a minefield. Sometimes we meet the wrong people, choose a bad venue or fall head over heels with someone who just wants to be friends. While the common dating ‘rules’ – not that I believe in rules – can apply to anybody, there are perhaps a few things we, as gay guys, need to pay a little more attention to.
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Some guys are going on dates to meet the love of their lives, others aren’t quite sure what they’re looking for, while others are definitely after just one thing. This is fine – nothing wrong with a one-night-stand – as long as he realises that too. There’s nothing worse than a romantic evening followed by a great night in the hay, which leads to unanswered texts because you couldn’t admit you were only ever looking for a one-off. You might not care, but consider your date’s feelings too.
This is becoming a bigger issue in the gay dating world. All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us. If you’re white, don’t say you’re “really into black guys”. What does that even mean? You’re objectifying a person with no thought for what else he might have to offer. You’re saying, “You tick a box, you’ll do” like they’re not a person, but a means to satisfy your kink. While you’re checking your racism, think about the way you talk to other guys who aren’t just like you. “Older men are really hot” is nowhere near as serious as racism, and it might seem like a compliment, but this guy doesn’t want to be defined by his age, any more than you’d expect someone to fancy you because of your postcode or shoe size. We’re reducing men to body parts and stats; we need to cut it out.
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We place a lot of importance, misguidedly I feel, on not having sex on the first date. Whether we’re reluctant to perpetuate the stereotype that gay men are promiscuous, or tell ourselves boys who give it up on the first date are less desirable, we certainly think too much about this one. The idea that men who put out aren’t good enough to take home to meet our mother is nonsense. If you feel it between you, then go for it. Sex alone won’t ruin everything, believe me, plenty of other things can go wrong.
1) “Online dating profiles tend to be BORING AS HELL because they are usually written to cast as wide a net as possible so as to attract every single fish in the whole wide ocean.” Gay dating profiles, specifically on these apps, are usually funny, at least on first read. Many times, sexual fetishes are brought into them. “Into: Oral, Anal, FF, WS…” You get the idea. Also, they aren’t very creative, so they get boring after the taboo of “Oh, my God! This guy is telling the word that he finds urination sexy!”